kristi_beth's journal

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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "kristi_beth" journal:

October 17th, 2009

08:41 am

Another Good-bye
   I feel like I have to write this because I need some closure. As many of you know, my grandfather died last week after losing a 17-year battle with Alzheimer’s disease. He stopped eating about a week before that, when he “forgot” how to swallow. I had always hoped that his heart would forget how to beat first, but unfortunately the disease tends to take things backward, and a heartbeat forms within a couple weeks of conception, before there is even much for it to do. (Just looked it up, it happens 22 days after conception. That is amazing!) Since his service won’t be for a month or more, I think I need to reflect on him a little now, so I can begin to move on. With the last two, there was a service that week, but that didn’t happen in this case.
    I have always felt that as the oldest grandchild, I was the luckiest as well, because I had the most memories of the old Grandpa.   The Grandpa who existed before the terrible disease that slowly took him away from us. I remember visiting his house as a child and seeing his garden. He was proud of his garden and showed it off to me and my dad. I remember he grew tomatoes, and had a lemon tree in the yard nearby. He also grew flowers. Even after the disease started to get the better of him, he would cut gardenias from the bush outside and bring them in for Grandma, because they were on of her favorites. She would put them in a special vase that projected the smell throughout the house, and they smelly just lovely. I still remember the grandpa of when I was little. The grandpa of tickles and funny jokes and tricks. He used to wiggle his ears at me and make me laugh. I also remember the grandpa of practicality. When he was helping me with my math worksheets, he taught me to erase more efficiently by erasing in the shape of the number I was erasing. I remember his taking me out to the pool to swim after work, and chasing me around the pool.
    One of my most precious memories comes from when I was just 5. It was the summer that they visited, and the memory is all the more precious because it is one of the few I have of my uncle that died that fall. Sometime during the visit, he pulled me aside with my uncle. He gave me a small gift, with a story behind it. It was a small aluminum cross that said “God Loves You” on it. He explained that he was giving them to the oldest child in each family. He said he had one at home. Then my uncle reached in his pocket and pulled out his cross that was identical. Grandpa made me feel so special that day! My priest blessed it, and I started carrying it with me everywhere when I learned to drive. I wish the selfish person who stole my purse in college would have left me that cross, because it was more precious to me than anything else in that purse.
    Later on, as the disease took away the things that Grandpa loved, like golfing and gardening, some things remained. The last time I saw him at home, just 5 months before he went into the nursing home, he was making jokes at the dinner table. They were simple jokes, but his sense of humor remained even as so much else was lost. We went for a short walk on that visit, and I was asking him about his early life. I asked him how you milk a cow, and he just curled his hands like we has holding on and started pulling his hands up and down. He clearly hadn’t forgotten the things he’d done as a youngster in Minnesota.
    At the same time, he has left his mark on the world. There is a design in the U.S. Patent Office with his idea on it. There are two young women who remember him as a the Grandpa who loved to play with them. We all played the organ that he started learning to play on. He served in the Navy with our other heroes during World War II. His mark may not be huge, but he has left a mark on our world, nonetheless.

We love you and will miss you, Grandpa.

Current Mood: contemplative

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October 4th, 2009

10:18 am

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